I’ve been in practice for over 25 years as a psychotherapist and saw my first counsellor in 1985, when I was 23, after I’d trained, qualified and practised as a general nurse and trained as a volunteer bereavement counsellor. At that time, I thought I wanted to be a psychologist and went to university to retrain. I found the transition hard and can still remember the kindness of the woman from the University Counselling Service who saw me for several sessions and supported me to find a way forward, rather than leave and go back to the role I knew well. Working things out with her helped me rethink my career goals and I transferred to the Social Work programme.

During my social work training I also completed a basic counselling certificate and saw a therapist who helped me identify and work through emotional challenges associated with earlier life experiences. Working as a social worker in the early 1990s led me to train as a psychotherapist, which meant I saw a therapist again as part of the requirements for training. I also attended group psychotherapy. Since then, I’ve worked with a wide range of clients and have also seen an EMDR therapist to help me process the impact of workplace bullying.

Why am I sharing this information with you? Because I understand something of the challenge of finding a therapist as a client and the importance of being clear about what I can offer as a therapist. Not least given the wide range of therapeutic approaches (modalities) to choose from, limited options for therapy through public health services or charities and the range of psychotherapists in private practice.

So what do I think might be helpful for you to consider?

Firstly, my experience that the relationship between client and therapist is central to therapy that works is supported by research. Professor Mick Cooper[1], for example, highlights the importance of the therapeutic relationship, together with partnership and collaboration with clients who are proactive/take an active role, as fundamental to effective (however defined) therapy. You bring yourself to this work, and I (or any other therapist) bring myself. Finding someone you feel comfortable with and can work with is key, and it may take some time and effort to find the right fit.

Secondly, maybe enlist someone you trust to help you identify possible therapists from the directories available. If there’s no-one you feel able to ask for help maybe imagine you are looking for someone you love and care about and make a list of things you might want for them then apply the things you’ve listed when you look for a therapist for yourself.

Thirdly, look through guidance from a reputable source. For example, the United Kingdon Council for Psychotherapy (like many professional organisations) has a “find a therapist webpage” which includes useful information like their steps for finding a therapist:

Fourthly, you might find it helpful to read and/or listen to people’s accounts of how they found a therapist that worked for them. However, please remember what worked for them might not work for you. Similarly, there are many resources available that include checklists or “red flag” lists for people looking for a therapist. Rather than using these, I suggest you make your own list of things you don’t want from therapy or wouldn’t look for in a therapist.

Finally, most people look for a therapist when they are struggling and/or finding life hard in some way. It can be challenging to find the time, energy or space when all you want is to feel better. Being kind to, and taking care of, yourself is really important as you look for a therapist - it can help you keep going, for example, if you don’t find a therapist straightaway. Deciding to look for a therapist is a big step. Please give yourself credit for the courage it takes.

Best wishes,

Annie

This blog is for educational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice or substitute for professional therapy.

[1] Cooper, M. (2015) The therapeutic relationship in counselling and psychotherapy. Sage: London.